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shelby_pyle
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Name: Shelby
Birthday: 4/18/1991
Gender: Female
Interests: Helping people, singing, reading, writing, and being silly
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/24/2006
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| Hey everyone...I know its been an EXTREMELY long time since I've last blogged...but I just stumbled upon this site again and remembered how useful is is to have a place to get things out of my heart and head. So I guess I'll just start by telling some things that I've been struggling with and how much I've learned from it. I don't know how long things were this bad between me and God...but I know it was for a while...and I'm not even sure why it happened...but it did. I think I was just sort of accustomed to the fact that God loved me and died for me and had forgiven me...but I felt like I was trapped inside of a snow globe with no way to escape and I could only watch what was happening...I couldn't do anything about it. I was emotionless when it came to God. I hadn't opened my bible in I don't know how long...but it had been quite a while. Then something just sort of snapped in my life...and I woke up, I saw the person I had become without God and it wasn't pretty at all...I hated it. And I knew I needed to change...so that night...I was really bummed...and I felt pretty much lower than dirt...but then God sent a friend to help open my eyes...and realize how much God has given me and how he had forgiven me....and so I then went to my room and opened my bible...and I started reading in Romans....and everything I started to read...was so personal to me...everything I was reading was applying to my own life...and I needed to hear it so much...God made himself known to me...and I cried and prayed...and i felt a peace that I hadn't felt in quite a long amount of time...i just felt so alive in Him. So if you're reading this...and you feel like you're in the same boat as I was in...don't keep shutting Him out...believe me...things won't get easier....God is the only one who can keep you from falling and who will love you unconditionally without fail...don't trust in anyone else but Him, because in the end humans will always fail each other, we're sinners...we can't even begin to try and do things the right way....because we're not perfect. Only He is... I know that I made the excuse..."I don't have time for God, let alone any time for myself." but...it's worth it....God is worth it...so take time right now to go and fill your mind and soul with God's word....mend the relationship...don't wait a minute longer. God is waiting...with open arms.
In Him,
~Shelby~
btw...if anyone needs a friend to talk to...I'm always here...
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| I don't think anyone checks this anymore but I don't really care I just need a place to get my feelings out. This past week has been really difficult for me but also really good because I've learned some really important things. It all started when last Wednesday I spent the night with three of my really close friends from my house here in the boonedocks of nowhere outside in a tent. That entire night was really awesome and we all got really close and then the next morning I woke up and I had a little bump on my face that was really sore and I just figured it was a pimple or something and so I didn't really think about it. So then Friday night I went bowling with those same friends and I felt really crummy the entire night and so I went home, fell asleep and then woke up at like 3 in the morning. When I woke up the lower right side of my face was completely numb and was like throbbing with pain...which freaked me out....but I decided that I didn't want to go wake up my parents and make it a big deal so I prayed and asked God to help the pain go down enough for me to fall back asleep and within minutes I fell back asleep. The next morning I woke up at like 7:45 and my face felt like it was throbbing and so I went to the mirror, my face was really really swollen and it was still numb. I then went and showed my dad and he and my mom were really worried and I was worried especially since it was on my face. If you don't know why this was bad for me I'll just tell you. I struggle alot with focusing on the outside of my apprearance and I just felt like I had to look perfect for people to even consider getting to know me. I know I'm crazy but thats what I thought. Anyways, we ended up going to the emergency room later that afternoon after it started to get lots worse and they thought a spider bit me and they gave me some anibiotics and a steriod creme to put on it...they told me that if it wasn't gone by Monday that I should go to my regular doctor...so on Monday we went to the doctor because it still wasn't gone...infact it was getting worse everyday. I was really angry and confused at God for allowing that to happen and I was just so angry that He wasn't answering my prayers the way I wanted Him to. The doctor said that I had gotten bit by a brown recluse spider and that it was good that I had come in otherwise it could have gotten really bad and eaten holes in my skin on my face. I was then really thankful that God had helped me by getting me in the doctor before it got too bad. So now I'm on a stronger antibiotic and oral steriods plus the steriod creme...and the steriods are making me really hungry all the time and I just can't get full....believe me its not a good feeling, it also makes me really easily irritated and stuff and so I've just been snapping left and right and I just don't know why I'm so angry and wish that I could just be nice for a while. I'm trying really hard. But then today God showed me how to be more compassionate towards people that may seem scarred on the outside, I guess I just didn't realize how awful that must feel. So God showed me to have more compassion for others and He showed me that my inner beauty was the most important thing about me and I felt so much peace. And knew thats why God didn't answer my prayers the way I wanted Him to....He wanted to teach me that lesson and have me know who was in control of my life....not me but God. I'm so thankful for God and everyone who's been there for me and thought I was beautiful even when they saw my huge face...you know who you are...=) Well thats pretty much I had on my chest...thanks for listening....I love you all so much and miss you with all my heart.
Shelby
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| Well...I know its been quite a long time since I've last updated but the reason is that I don't think that anyone checks this anymore....which could be a good thing considering that I just really feel like writing down how I'm feeling about life in this e-mail....so here goes...I'm doing pretty good here in my small little town but I'm really really tired of school. I mean I normally don't have a problem with turning in my homework and being motivated to do it but these last couple of weeks have drug on and on and on and I just really want to quit but I've been praying for God to help me pull through these last two weeks of my sophmore year, because I know it will be well worth it. Anyways, enough about grades...the other thing thats been bugging me is that I lost my bible...I've looked everywhere and I just don't know what I did with it....so I've been kinda stranded without it....so hopefully I'll find it soon. Well...anyways...I'm ready for school to be out!! 6 more days!!! Well...update more later.
~Shelby~
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| Hey everyone, sorry its been a really really long time since I've updated last, I just kinda forgot about Xanga, yeah I know...sad. Anyways...I have spent some time with God since my last post which I look at now and see how far from God I had come, and I have gotten back on track, and right now I think I'm getting closer to God than I have ever been. I mean I've always known about God but I wasn't really being real, true, or honest about myself with God...I always just hid behind a smile...pretended everything was going great, but inside it was a different story...I was aching and yearning for the one person who was waiting right in front of me telling me that all I needed was Him...and that was God. So yeah...if you've been praying for me...its really helped. So thank you so much. Anyways...basically God has been really working in my heart and has inspired me to help this girl in my school who is really struggling and I know she needs God, I feel like God is tugging my heart in this area, so I have become determined to help. So yeah...I would appreciate the prayer...thank you all so much. I hope you are all experiencing God's amazing love. Have a great week.
~Shelby~
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| I know I usually don't blog without a reason and this one is basically pretty pointless except for the fact that I really really need prayer right now, I am struggling more than I have in quite a while and I'm angry with God and my parents and I'm trying to deal with it but I'm not quite sure how. So if you would all keep me in your thoughts and prayers...I would be very thankful. I would tell you whats going on but, I don't think now is a good time & and I don't want everyone thats feels like it to know...so if you ask...I would probably tell you, but for now I would just really appreciate it if everyone kept me in their prayers.
Much appreciated.
Shelby
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