| | I don't think anyone checks this anymore but I don't really care I just need a place to get my feelings out. This past week has been really difficult for me but also really good because I've learned some really important things. It all started when last Wednesday I spent the night with three of my really close friends from my house here in the boonedocks of nowhere outside in a tent. That entire night was really awesome and we all got really close and then the next morning I woke up and I had a little bump on my face that was really sore and I just figured it was a pimple or something and so I didn't really think about it. So then Friday night I went bowling with those same friends and I felt really crummy the entire night and so I went home, fell asleep and then woke up at like 3 in the morning. When I woke up the lower right side of my face was completely numb and was like throbbing with pain...which freaked me out....but I decided that I didn't want to go wake up my parents and make it a big deal so I prayed and asked God to help the pain go down enough for me to fall back asleep and within minutes I fell back asleep. The next morning I woke up at like 7:45 and my face felt like it was throbbing and so I went to the mirror, my face was really really swollen and it was still numb. I then went and showed my dad and he and my mom were really worried and I was worried especially since it was on my face. If you don't know why this was bad for me I'll just tell you. I struggle alot with focusing on the outside of my apprearance and I just felt like I had to look perfect for people to even consider getting to know me. I know I'm crazy but thats what I thought. Anyways, we ended up going to the emergency room later that afternoon after it started to get lots worse and they thought a spider bit me and they gave me some anibiotics and a steriod creme to put on it...they told me that if it wasn't gone by Monday that I should go to my regular doctor...so on Monday we went to the doctor because it still wasn't gone...infact it was getting worse everyday. I was really angry and confused at God for allowing that to happen and I was just so angry that He wasn't answering my prayers the way I wanted Him to. The doctor said that I had gotten bit by a brown recluse spider and that it was good that I had come in otherwise it could have gotten really bad and eaten holes in my skin on my face. I was then really thankful that God had helped me by getting me in the doctor before it got too bad. So now I'm on a stronger antibiotic and oral steriods plus the steriod creme...and the steriods are making me really hungry all the time and I just can't get full....believe me its not a good feeling, it also makes me really easily irritated and stuff and so I've just been snapping left and right and I just don't know why I'm so angry and wish that I could just be nice for a while. I'm trying really hard. But then today God showed me how to be more compassionate towards people that may seem scarred on the outside, I guess I just didn't realize how awful that must feel. So God showed me to have more compassion for others and He showed me that my inner beauty was the most important thing about me and I felt so much peace. And knew thats why God didn't answer my prayers the way I wanted Him to....He wanted to teach me that lesson and have me know who was in control of my life....not me but God. I'm so thankful for God and everyone who's been there for me and thought I was beautiful even when they saw my huge face...you know who you are...=) Well thats pretty much I had on my chest...thanks for listening....I love you all so much and miss you with all my heart.
Shelby
|
| | Posted 6/27/2007 8:48 PM - 12 Views - 4 eProps - 3 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
